Mutants on Film
by Red Witch
Summary: When Kitty wins a date with one of Hollywood's most hottest actors, insanity reigns supreme as both Misfits and XMen get into the act! R&R all the star studded insanity!
1. The Hottest Star in Hollywood

**Hold the presses! I don't own any X-Men Evo characters except for the ones I made up or any GI Joe characters. This fic takes place not long after 'No Mutant is an Island'. Yup its another fun fic. A certain mutant's love life is going to become even more complicated! **

**Mutants on Film**

**Chapter 1: The Hottest Star in Hollywood**

"Hello this is Mary Heartland and this is Ultimate Entertainment, your number one entertainment news program," A perky blonde woman in a blue dress stood in a flashy studio. "It's official, the Hottest Star of the year is the number one hunk in America according to People Magazine. Major mega teen Dylan Hunter, star of _Scenes from a Mini Mall _and _Hammer's Heartland_ is the most popular seventeen-year-old in America. Just recently he's starting filming on his latest top secret movie project. Whatever it will be, you can bet it will be another box office smash hit." 

A picture of a very handsome boy with blue eyes and dark blonde hair smiling was shown. "The latest buzz on this boy is the 'Win a Date with Dylan' contest sponsored by Young Magazine," Mary spoke. "All of America is wondering who will be the lucky girl chosen?"

************************************************************************

"Ugh, I haven't seen this many dogs since I went to the animal shelter," Talent Agent Mike 'Mac' McMurphy groaned as he looked at the huge pile of photos. He was a fat balding man in a loud suit and a cigar. 

"I thought you had your secretary narrow down them down to some kind of A list?" Jeff Beene a tall distinguished man in glasses asked. He was Dylan's manager and accountant not to mention he was also Dylan's older cousin. 

"This is the A list!" Mac spat out.

"Calm down Mac," Dylan walked in wearing a light blue sweater and a pair of jeans. "You'll give yourself another heart attack."

"No my last client did that," Mac grunted. 

"I don't see what the problem is," Dylan said. "Just pick a photo and a name out of the lot and boom! Saves a lot of time!" 

"It also opens us up to potential lawsuits and stalkers," Jeff told him. "Why do we have to do this hokey stunt anyway? It's not as if Dylan needs the publicity."

"If there's one thing I have learned in my thirty odd years in this business is that there's no such thing as too much good publicity!" Mac told him as he looked at a photo. "Another loser! Goodbye!" 

"Jeff I know you mean well but sometimes you gotta take the bull by the horns and trust to fate. I like this one," Dylan took out a photo. "Hey! She's cute!"

"Well, well, well…We have a winner," Mac nodded as he studied the photo. "All right! Kid you got great instincts! This is it! Let's get this party in motion! Miss Kitty Pryde, it's time to put some excitement into your hum drum little life!" 

**Next: We see exactly how 'hum drum' Kitty's life is lately! (As if you didn't know!) **


	2. Just Your Typical Mutant Teenager

**Just Your Typical Mutant Teenager**

"SHADOWCAT DOWN!" Jean shouted. 

Kitty phased through the floor just in time to avoid the buzz saws. "Yikes!" She said as she popped up. "I am so not in the mood for a haircut!" 

"Come on!" Kurt shouted from a platform. "We only have twenty seconds left! It's all or nothing!" 

Scott, Rogue, Remy and Bobby were there. "Come on people!" Scott shouted at Kitty, Jean and Peter who were making their way to the platform filled with obstacles. 

"We're coming! We're coming already!" Remy shouted. "Colossus move it!" 

"I am moving as fast as I can!" Peter shouted. He was in his armored form. "Kitty look out!" He stepped in front of a metal ball and it crashed against his body. 

"Hey! I could have like phased through that!" Kitty said. The buzzer sounded. "Oh great!" 

"Well I must admit that your teamwork is impressive," Ororo said as the simulation finished. "We'll try it again tomorrow. Let's see if we can increase our speed." 

"Ugh I so hate doing that session," Kitty groaned as they left the Danger Room and went upstairs. "Half the time we never make it anyway! What's the point?"

"For like when we do it in the real world?" Rogue asked sarcastically. 

"Kitty sorry I…" Peter scratched his head after he reverted back to human form.

"I know, I know," Kitty sighed. "Thanks. I am starving."

"Me too," Kurt said. "I could really go for a hamburger! I can practically smell them grilling!"

"I smell it too but it's not burgers," Jean pointed to a chair in one of the rooms. 

"Lockheed how many times do I have to tell you not to set fire to furniture?" Kitty groaned as she went to retrieve her dragon. He had set fire to a small chair. "No Lockheed! Bad dragon! Bad!" 

"I got it!" Bobby used his powers to put the fire out.

"Thanks Bobby," Kitty picked up Lockheed. "Lockheed you know better than that! Bad dragon!" 

To this Lockheed hiccuped and spat out a small flame. "Oh no!" Scott grumbled. "Don't tell me he was eating carnations again!" 

"Okay I won't tell you," Kitty sighed. "Lance sent some to me this morning." 

"Oh really?" Peter growled. "I think I've just lost my appetite."

"Good cause Lance is here," Tabitha walked into the room. Peter got a look in his eye and went into the kitchen. 

"And the rest of the Misfits as well?" Jean groaned.

"No just Shipwreck," Tabitha said. "He decided to try and ask her on a date again." 

"Somebody better warn Storm," Jean sighed. Then a flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder was heard. "Never mind." 

"Come on Jean its our turn to stop her from killing him this time," Scott sighed as they went after them. 

Sounds of shouting and things breaking could be heard. Rogue went to the kitchen door and opened it. She ducked just in time to avoid getting hit by a flying banana. "Kitty both your boyfriends are fighting in the kitchen again!" Rogue shouted to her. 

"Oh great!" Kitty went to the kitchen. "Will you two quit it!"

"He started it!" Both Peter and Lance said, each boy pointing at the other. 

"I don't care who started it!" Kitty snapped at them. "Why can't you be civil to each other?"

"Why can't you make up your mind and pick one already?" Rogue asked as she grabbed something out of the fridge. "This is beyond old!" 

"Why don't you like mind your own business?" Kitty snapped at her.

"How can I when **your **business is broadcast over the **whole mansion**?" Rogue snapped back. 

"Mansion nothing," Kurt said. "The entire town of Bayville knows all about this!" 

"Oh thanks so much for your support Kurt!" Kitty snapped. "And like get your tail out of the fruit bowl! You're getting fur over it!" 

"I am not!" Kurt made a face and used his tail to grab a bunch of grapes. 

"Hey Kitty phone call!" Bobby shouted out to her. 

"I'll get it!" Kitty sighed. She turned to Lance and Peter. "Will you two please behave and not trash the mansion for once while I get this? On second thought Rogue please watch 'em for me!" 

"What am I your personal babysitter?" Rogue shouted after her as she went to answer the phone.

"You can baby-sit me anytime Chere," Remy grinned. 

"Man even I think that line is cheesy," Lance groaned. 

"Ugh can this day get any crazier?" Kitty picked up the phone. "Yes this is Kitty Pryde." Her eyes widened. "I WON WHAT?" 

**Next: How does everyone react to Kitty's news? How do you think? Tune in next time to find out! **


	3. Jealous Much?

**Jealous Much?**

"NO WAY!" Paige shrieked.

"Way!" Kitty squealed. 

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Paige jumped up and down screaming. 

"How the heck can a girl like you get so lucky?" Tabitha shouted. 

"And why the hell are all of you in my room talking about it?" Rogue groaned. Kitty, Paige, Tabitha and Amara were in Rogue's room where she broke the news. 

"Dylan Hunter! Oh he was so dreamy in _Teen Movies Forever_!" Paige swooned. 

"What's going on?" Jean asked as she and Jubilee walked in.

"Kitty's won a contest!" Paige told her. "She got a date with Dylan Hunter!"

"Dylan Hunter?" Jubilee's eyes widened. "**The** Dylan Hunter? The hunky mega star Dylan Hunter? The fabulously gorgeous super star Dylan Hunter?" 

"That's him," Tabitha nodded.

"NO WAY!" Jubilee squealed. "THAT IS SO COOL!" She started to jump up and down screaming along with Kitty and Paige. 

"I don't believe this!" Amara shouted. "Kitty you already have two boyfriends!" 

"So?" Kitty asked. "It's just a harmless date."

"Do you even hear yourself?" Amara shouted. "I don't believe you! I'm appalled!"

"Especially since you've been hoping to get the prize yourself," Tabitha pointed out. "You entered in that contest too." 

"Well yeah who wouldn't?" Amara said. "The point is Kitty you're asking for trouble! I should take the date."

"No way!" Kitty told her.

"What's all the screaming about?" Ray asked as he and Peter entered the room. "We could hear you through the entire mansion." 

"Kitty just won a contest," Jean told them.

"That's great!" Peter said. "Congratulations! I'm happy for you!"

"You won't be in a minute," Rogue said. "Tell him what you won Kitty."

"This ought to be interesting," Tabitha grinned. 

"Well," Kitty was trying to find a way to break the news. "Let's say for argument's sake that you had a chance to go out with a mega superstar. I mean a real big superstar. Not that it would be anything serious, just one night of conversation and going out to a fancy restaurant and after you'd probably get some flowers or something. But after that it would be over."

"Uh huh…" Peter did not like where this was going. 

"I mean it's not like it's a real romantic date or anything," Kitty went on. "I mean I know it's probably just some harmless publicity stunt so it's not like there's ever going to be anything between us or anything."

"Continue," Peter folded his arms. 

"I mean this is Dylan Hunter we're talking about!" Kitty babbled. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity we're talking here!"

"Dylan Hunter?" Peter asked. 

"Isn't he like that really big movie star?" Scott walked in, hearing only the tail end of the conversation. "What about him?"

"Kitty won a date with him in a contest," Jubilee said. 

"Kitty won a date with who?" Kurt asked as he and Thornn walked in. 

"Dylan Hunter," Paige told him. 

"Dylan Hunter?" Thornn whistled. "Damn girl he's fine!" 

"Oh sure!" Peter threw up his hands. "Just what I need! **Another **rival!" 

"Yeah why not have three boyfriends?" Ray asked sarcastically. 

"Oh for crying out loud it's just one night," Kitty said.

"You can't seriously think of going out on a date with this guy?" Peter gasped. "No! You cannot! I forbid it!" 

"What? You forbid what? You did not just say that!" Kitty snarled. 

"Oh boy…" Scott winced. "Wrong thing to say."

"Darn right it's the wrong thing to say!" Kitty glared at Peter. 

"Yeah its not like she's married to you last I checked!" Thornn said.

"No she's just increasing her harem!" Amara shouted. "In Nova Roma we banned those a century ago! And people call us primitive?" 

"What's going on?" Lance walked in with Bobby. "Why is everybody in here?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Rogue muttered. "Since this is Kitty's big announcement!" 

"Announcement?" Bobby asked.

"Kitty's going on a date with that movie star Dylan Hunter!" Amara said. "A date I should be on!" 

"What do you mean a date?" Lance asked.

"That's when a boy takes a girl out of the house to a restaurant or a movie," Peter replied sarcastically.

"I know what a date is! What I don't know is why she's going on a date with another guy!" Lance shouted.

"That's just what I said!" Peter agreed.

"Yeah it's not like she hasn't been getting enough action around here," Tabitha remarked. 

"Why would you go for a contest like that in the first place?" Lance yelled.

"Yeah!" Peter agreed. 

"You two are impossible you know that!" Kitty snapped at Lance and Peter. 

"Well you gotta admit Kitty they both have a point!" Scott said. "I mean the situation between the three of you is weird enough but now another guy…"

"It's not another guy Scott!" Kitty snapped. "It's Dylan Hunter! It's just a contest!" 

"Is that what we are to you?" Lance asked. "How could you do this to us?"

"I thought the three of us shared something special!" Peter said. 

"Wow that's a line I thought I'd only hear in a porn movie," Bobby remarked.

"What do **you **know about porn movies?" Jean glared at him. 

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" Jamie snickered as he walked in with Sam and Roberto.

"What's going on?" Roberto asked. "Why are we all talking about porn movies?"

"No just Bobby's talking about them," Ray told them. "Everyone else is talking about Kitty going on a date with Dylan Hunter."

"Well there's a shock," Sam chuckled. "Wait, what's this about Dylan Hunter? As in the actor?"

"Yeah Kitty won the date contest," Paige told him.

"Don't you already have enough guys?" Roberto asked.

"My point exactly!" Amara said. 

"Look I can handle you liking one other guy but four's a crowd!" Lance said. 

"Not one word Bobby," Jean groaned. 

"Don't worry," Rogue sighed. "Once they find out that she's a mutant what are the odds she'll be dropped like a hot potato?" 

"Oh yeah…" Lance blinked. 

"She has a point," Peter nodded. 

"You don't know that!" Kitty protested. 

"Face it Kitty the odds are pretty good," Bobby said.

"Odds on what?" Remy walked in. "What are you all doing in here?" 

"Oh apparently my bedroom is now the hottest meeting place in the entire mansion," Rogue answered flippantly. "Kitty won a date with this movie star Dylan Hunter. Lance and Peter are jealous. But I think once they find out Kitty's a mutant the plan will fall through." 

"Oh," Remy said. "I'll take that bet. Five gets you ten that he never even makes it to the door!"

"I'll take those odds!" Kurt said.

"Okay we've got ourselves a betting pool," Bobby took out a piece of paper. 

"What is going on here?" Warren walked in. "Rogue I don't know what you're running here but…"

"**EVERYBODY GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!" **Rogue screamed tossing pillows at everyone. **"ESPECIALLY YOU KITTY!" **

"Okay! Okay! Like don't be such a grouch! Yeesh!" Kitty grumbled as she left the room with the others. 

"Yeah well this isn't over yet Kitty!" Lance followed her.

"You bet it is not!" Peter harrumphed. "The three of us really need to discuss this!"

"Okay Bobby I have to admit you do have a point," Jean groaned. 

"I have no idea what goes on around here," Warren groaned. "I just live here. I never know what's going on." 

"It's just not fair!" Amara wailed. "It's just not fair!"

"You know girlfriend you do have a point," Tabitha had an idea. "Maybe it's time Kitty learned to share."

"You have a plan to help me?" Amara asked her.

"Not yet," Tabitha admitted. "But I think if we put our minds to it, we'll be able to come up with something." 


	4. Our Contest Winner is a WHAT?

**Our Contest Winner is a What?**

The next day several of the X-Men were waiting for Dylan's official handlers to make contact. Not to mention several other people. "Why are you Misfits here?" Logan asked. 

"Oh we just had to be here to see this," Pietro grinned. "I must say Logan you're taking this awfully well."

"What this whole date a superstar nonsense?" Logan harrumphed.

"Well I was so sure you'd go ballistic when you heard about Dylan Hunter, what with his reputation and all," Pietro shrugged. "I'm surprised you didn't threaten to claw the guy into ribbons." 

"Yeah well…Wait, **what** reputation?" Logan looked at him.

"Oh you know," Pietro waved. "You hear it all the time in those tabloid things. No big deal. The usual. Drinking, carousing, partying. Personally I think that incident with the thirteen year old was a set up." 

"Thirteen?" Logan growled.

"And that whole nonsense with that other girl," Pietro said. "I mean how was he supposed to know they were selling heroin at that dance club? That trashy tabloid show blew that way out of proportion! What was the name of that show again?"

"Sixty Minutes?" Todd asked.

"No that article was about his drinking," Lance said. "But that was a more general piece. You know alcoholism in stars. He was just one of the top ten. You're thinking of Primetime Live."

"No that happened before that," Fred told him. "That was the interview where he admitted his affair with that older actress Mimi Doore."

"Oh yeah like she hasn't had half the people in Hollywood under thirty," Pietro shrugged.

"The male half," Fred snickered. "But you have to admit he has turned his life around after getting out of rehab."

"Oh really?" Logan's eye was starting to twitch. 

"Yeah it really shows how much you trust Kitty going alone with a guy like that," Pietro patted him on the shoulder. "I mean you know how these stars are used to getting their own way with everyone…I mean everything. But you know Kitty. She'd never allow anything to happen."

"Unless he slipped her something in his drink," Xi remarked.

"He was acquitted of that and you know it," Pietro huffed.

"Excuse me please," Logan stormed off with a look of pure evil in his eyes. 

"Good job," Lance grinned at Pietro. 

"I haven't even started yet," Pietro snickered. 

Outside Mac and Jeff had driven up in the car. "Wow what a swanky boarding school," Mac chomped on his unlit cigar.

"Yes it does look rather prestigious doesn't it?" Jeff remarked. "You know I think I've seen it on television. It does look familiar." 

"Hey maybe we can use it for the movie," Mac instantly text messaged to someone on his phone. "Grossman's gonna be hanging around us anyway. Might as well put him to use." He then rang the doorbell. 

"Welcome gentlemen to the Xavier Institute," Xavier nodded.

"Nice to meet ya," Mac said. "Call me Mac and this is Jeff. We're Mr.Hunter's agents. Now where's this Kitty person?"

"I'm like right here!" Kitty bounced happily over to them. 

"Hmm, you are cute," Mac said. "Not bad. Now the way this works is that in a few weeks Dylan is gonna pick you up for your date. There's gonna be a lot of photographers to take pictures so maybe one of your teachers will escort you out like the blue guy here. Now this is gonna…" He stopped and looked at Mr. McCoy. "Blue guy?"

"Hello," Hank waved. 

"Oh god…" Jeff paled. "I've just remembered where I saw this place before!"

"Yeah the six o clock news!" Mac gulped. "Here's the latest headline: Dylan Hunter crashes and burns!" He started to use his cell phone. "Dylan! Dylan! We gotta nix this gig! Not that one! The date gig! Why? Because Mr. Hotshot the girl you picked is a mutant that's why!" 

"Told you," Rogue snorted.

"Please don't take this personally," Jeff gulped. "We just don't want Dylan to get attached to any negative stigma or killed."

"Oh yeah **that's** understandable," John folded his arms.

"Too bad!" Lance said cheerfully.

"Oh well those are the breaks!" Peter said happily. 

"WHAT? Okay! Okay I'll ask her!" Mac grunted. He asked Kitty. "What exactly do you do?"

"This," Kitty walked through the wall and back.

"AAHHH!" Mac shouted. "DYLAN SHE CAN WALK THROUGH WALLS! LITTERALLY!"

"Perhaps we should discuss this…" Xavier began to say.

"DYLAN ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" He shouted into the phone. He calmed himself. "Don't you realize this kind of thing…but…but…Well yeah but…You…you….Listen to me! This is your career I'm thinking of! Yeah and my percent cut but…but…Fine! Have it your way! But if your career crashes and burns don't blame me!" 

"Well that's nice to know," Pietro remarked casually. "He doesn't care that she's a mutant. He only cares that she's got a cute face and a cute body." He grinned when he saw Logan casually slice a vase in half. 

Jeff saw it and looked like he was going to faint. "What did he say?"

"He wants to go through it anyway!" Mac groaned.

"Oh well maybe Kitty doesn't after the way she's been treated!" Peter thought fast.

"That's right!" Lance grabbed her arm. "Come on Kitty! We don't have to take this!"

"Quit it Lance!" Kitty phased out of his grip. "You heard Dylan doesn't care that I'm a mutant! I won that contest fair and square and I intend to do this!"

"You can't be serious!" Lance shouted.

"Totally serious!" Kitty got in his face.

"Hey everyone!" The door opened revealing a medium sized man with black curly hair, purple shirt with gold chains and black sunglasses. "Wow! Mac you were right about this place! This is a great location!" 

"Who's he?" Logan asked.

"Gary Grossman, the director of Dylan's latest picture," Jeff explained. "He's been mooching lunches off us ever since his last picture." 

"Mac baby this place is da bomb!" Gary walked in. 

"Hey didn't you make _Drive Through Daze _and _51 States_?" Bobby asked.

"Correctomundo!" Gary shot him a thumbs up. "Hey did you guys know that this is the famous mutant school?"

"We do now," Jeff groaned. 

"Hey and you are all those X-Men aren't you?" Gary asked. "Loved your work!"

"Well it's nice to know someone does," Rogue said. 

"Hey here's a crazy idea," Gary stroked his chin. "You know this picture we're doing is at a stalemate anyway, why not take it in a whole new direction? Especially if we shoot the movie here!" 

"Movie? You mean Dylan Hunter's new movie?" Amara gasped. 

"You want to shoot it here?" Scott asked. 

"Why not?" Gary looked around. "Oh yeah this is gonna be fabulous! I see it now! A hard hitting look at the trials and tribulations of mutant teens. How they live, how they love...It's brilliant!" 

"I have a bad feeling about this," Scott groaned. 

"Hey you with the sunglasses," Gary looked at him. "You know you look real good. Like a natural actor. Got the looks and the shades, you think you can play a mutant?"

"I am a mutant," Scott told him.

"Oh yeah right," Gary chuckled. "Silly me. I forgot for a second. See that's what we should try to do here. Have mutants seen as people, not freaks from another planet."

"Didn't you direct that movie?" Fred asked.

"No that was some other guy. I directed _Freaks from Another Dimension,_" Gary corrected. "Totally different movie." 

"You know," Pietro slided up to him. "If you're going to make a movie about mutants you should use mutants. You know not just as extras but for creative input, you know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah and I like it!" Gary got stars in his eyes. He picked up his cell phone. "Bobbi, sweetie it's Double G here! Listen you know that ensemble project with Dylan Hunter and Terrance Tremblon? _My Buddy's Graduation? _What do you mean the title's been changed again? Well whatever it's called get the scriptwriters on the horn and tell 'em to throw everything out! We're rewriting the script and taking it in a whole new direction. Oh please they've rewritten this script eight times already! A ninth isn't gonna kill 'em! Oh...Well send a get well card to the one in the hospital and fly the rest of 'em out here to Bayville New York pronto! Yeah. Yeah. It is the mutant town. Cause that's what the film is about now. Just do it! Just get 'em out here!" 

"Now wait just a minute here…" Logan growled. "You can't just come into our home and…"

"Hold on a second Logan," Jean said. "Maybe this isn't a bad thing. If he makes a movie showing mutants in a positive light, that might help the reputation of mutants everywhere."

"See! That's what I'm saying!" Gary said. "I'm bored with all these teen party movies! Filled with mindless sex and drinking and bodily function jokes! I wanna do something meaningful for once! Direct that picture that will really touch America! Maybe get me a Golden Globe. So what do you say?"

"Well this could be a positive step in mutant/human relations," Xavier said. 

"Great! Let's get our lawyers on this pronto to seal the deal!" Gary pushed a few more buttons on the cell phone. "Oh and since we are going to be shooting here I like that idea that kid had about having your students play some small parts. You know give it a realistic feel!" 

"I guess you're all having parts in the movie," Mac sighed. 

"ALL RIGHT!" All the kids cheered. 

"And best of all you kiddo are gonna be starring in a role opposite Dylan!" Gary said to Kitty. "You can be his love interest!" 

"WHAT?" Lance and Peter yelled.

"Me? In a movie? That is so awesome!" Kitty squealed. 

"Now hold on Half Pint what is this about a romantic lead?" Logan roared.

"Who cares!" Tabitha shouted. "We're gonna be in pictures!" 

"And maybe when I'm a star Dylan will notice me!" Amara squealed. 

"Forget Dylan!" Jean shouted. "Terrance Tremblon is gonna be here!" 

"What a hunk!" Angelica shouted. 

"WHAT?" Scott yelled. 

"I don't know what you've started Pietro but I have a feeling it's gonna be good," Todd laughed. 

**Next: Some movie making fun! Plus some playing around with a few things from the X-Men Movie and twisting it into my own personal invention! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **


	5. What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?

**What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into?**

The next day the mansion was filled with cameramen, actors, and all sorts of movie people. "Charles what the hell have you gotten us into?" Logan groaned. "How the hell are we gonna have any secrets left with all these movie people crawling around?"

"Don't worry," Xavier said. "It's only for a few days and I've expressly forbidden several areas of the mansion to be off limits. They're only going to use the first floor and the garden for a few scenes." 

CRASH!  
"Sorry!" A prop guy shouted. "Hope that vase wasn't too valuable!"

"No the ones that were the students already damaged long ago," Xavier sighed. 

"Hello Baby!" Shipwreck walked in with Roadblock. Shipwreck was wearing shades. "I love Hollywood people! Now where are those hot actresses!"

"He insisted on coming here with the kids," Roadblock sighed. "So how are things going here?" 

"How do you think? They've only been here a day and already this place is a madhouse!" Logan grunted.

"And how is that different than any other day here?" Roadblock asked. 

"He does have a point," Xavier agreed. 

Several X-Men and Misfits were wandering around. "Man look at all these guys," Kitty whistled. "I had no idea how many people it took to make a movie!" 

"I gotta admit this is pretty exciting," Scott said. "They said a lot of different stars were gonna be in this picture. Something about contracts and studio obligations. I wonder who we'll see?" 

"I can't believe we're all gonna be on camera!" Jean said happily. "This is so cool!" 

"How much you wanna bet it's gonna turn into some dumb teen frat movie with mutants?" Rogue asked. 

"You don't know that," Scott told her.

"Yeah it could end up being a great teen frat movie with mutants," Pietro quipped.

"You are not helping Pietro!" Scott told him. "Why are you Misfits here anyway?"

"Hey if it wasn't for us, these guys would be out the door by now," Lance said. "And you wouldn't get parts in the film."

"He has a point," Kurt remarked. He had his image inducer turned on. 

"All right now kids," Gary walked by. "Get over to makeup here. We just need you for some background shots. Uh can any of you look more…How do I put this delicately? More mutant?"

"Well," Kurt gulped as he turned off his inducer. "Will this do?" 

"Perfect!" Gary nodded without a beat. "Now where did the cat girl and snake guy go? Somebody go find them, they'd be perfect!" He wandered off. 

"Well that's a cool trick," A makeup artist man looked at Kurt. 

"Kid what are you trying to do?" An elderly makeup artist woman asked. "Put us out of business?" 

"No it just helps me, you know, fit in," Kurt explained. "You're not shocked at the way I look?"

"Kid, I've been a makeup artist for over thirty years," The woman huffed. "You think you're scary? Try seeing Joan Rivers in the morning without makeup. Gives me the willies!" 

"That's nothing," The male makeup artist said. "I recently had to do Michael Jackson for an interview. Brrr…"

"And people say mutants are freaks," Pietro quipped as he got into a chair. "I need a number five ivory foundation with a number three blend for my cheekbones."

"Trust us," Kitty sighed. "If anyone knows about makeup it's him."

"Just don't put too much on dear," Mrs. Pryde walked in with Donald, Kitty's father's boyfriend. 

"Yes you don't need all of that gunk hiding your natural beauty!" Donald said. 

"Mom? Donald?" Kitty blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"When we learned our kitten was going to be in a movie we couldn't help but get out here and share your joy," Donald beamed.

"Since both your father and Jesse D are working we thought we'd come out here to supervise you," Mrs. Pryde said. 

"You're not gonna kill each other are you?" Kitty asked.

"No, no," Donald said. "I've been going into therapy and I've put all that hostility and jealousy behind me. We only want what's best for you. Which is definitely not that makeup. She looks too pale! Who's in charge here? I want to talk about her contract!" 

"Contract? Oh no…" Kitty groaned. "Mom what is he doing?"

"He's your agent dear let the man work," Mrs. Pryde told her. 

"Oh this is all we need. Hey wait some of us are missing," Rogue looked around. "Where's the Blob?"

"Where do you think?" Lance pointed. Fred was happily munching donuts and making friends with the Key Grip. 

"Ask a stupid question. Where's Xi and Toad?" Scott asked.

"They're hanging around the writers," Pietro pointed. 

Todd and Xi were enthralling several writers with their stories. "And that's what really happened at the soccer game," Todd concluded. 

"Oh man this is a gold mine!" A writer said. "We can definitely fit that in the script!" 

"Tell us again about the time they unleashed a horde of monsters at the school dance," Another writer asked. 

"Certainly," Todd grinned. "You know I was there the entire time." 

"Oh brother…" Scott groaned. "I just hope this doesn't take too long." 

Three days later:

"All right quiet on the set!" Gary shouted. "Take fifteen! And action!" The students simply walked down the hall for a few minutes. "Cut! Print! That's perfect! Now set up for the next scene!"

"Two afternoons for one thirty second shot?" Logan groaned as he watched the display. He looked at Todd who was standing next to him. "How come you ain't in the scene? Didn't the director want you?" 

"Actually I've been hired as a creative consultant," Todd grinned. "And best of all, I got an actor playing me in the picture." 

"Tolensky sweetheart this is Ray," Gary walked up with a very tall handsome actor covered in pale makeup. "He'll be playing your part." 

"Wow," Todd blinked. "It's like looking in a mirror."

"Yeah a funhouse mirror," Kurt scoffed as he walked in with Amanda. 

"Amanda?" Scott blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Kurt invited me!" Amanda squealed. "He said he was going to show me what it's like to make a movie!"

"Yeah and it'll be great for my career too!" Benny walked in. 

"Benny Barumpbump that's all we need!" Logan groaned. 

"Yeah a real magician to help us with our special effects!" Gary said. "That's why I hired him! Thanks again Tolensky baby!"

"Hey anytime man," Todd said. "Wanna do lunch?" 

"Well lemme see," Gary consulted his book. "After this next scene I got a massage with Helga. But yeah I'm free. Hey! I'll bet Lars and Olga are free too. Wanna book a triple so you can invite your lady?"

"Consider me invited!" Althea walked up. 

"Great! Ah I can do that editing stuff some other time! Ciao! Gotta do lunch," Gary walked off. 

"Another lunch? You just took one an hour ago!" Logan shouted after him. 

"Hey it's a business lunch," Mac walked up to them. "For the picture! We gotta schedule the timetables of all the actors that are gonna be in the film. Trust me!" 

"Don't be too offended if I don't," Logan growled. 

"Come on babe," Althea took Todd by the arm. "I gotta rehearse my love scene!"

"But you don't have a…" Realization hit Todd. "Oh yeah! Right! See ya! Guys!" 

"If this guy is anything like Peter Jackson we are all in big trouble," Logan groaned.

"Don't worry," Lance showed him a paper. "According to Variety this guy's famous for putting out blockbusters at least three times a year. He gets 'em done in under three months."

"Three months?" Logan yelped. 

"He's already put two and a half months into this picture," Mac reassured him. "Just a few more days. I promise! That's all we need!" 

Two weeks later:

"I don't know how much more of this I can take," Logan grunted. The X adults were sitting in the new food hall tent. "If Hugh Jackman copies my movements just one more time…" 

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Xavier groaned. "At least Patrick Stewart isn't insisting on living in your office and asking about your skin care products!" 

"Charles this is getting beyond out of hand. This movie's done more than interrupt our lives and training. It's starting to have an effect on our students," Ororo said.

Nearby Jamie was sitting in a director's chair wearing shades and talking on a cell phone. "Jeffrey! Boobala! Have you got my script yet? I was thinking Tom Cruise for the lead. Yeah. We can change that scene. Oh I agree. Hawaii is definitely the locale to shoot it in. Have your people send the details to my people! Let's do lunch! Ciao babe!" 

"See what I mean?" Ororo asked. "And if you ask me Kurt's been hanging around those makeup artists far too long."

Kurt was playing a card game with three make up artists. "Did you see what Tawny Dawson was wearing last night at the Awards for Awards Show?" A campy male makeup artist asked. "Or should I say not wearing?"

"With her body she should have covered up," A cranky elderly lady with glasses said. "I've seen better skin on an alligator handbag. Speaking of which, my eczema is acting up something fierce."

"You think that's bad darling you should try having dandruff with fur sometimes," Kurt said. Somehow his accent had acquired a slightly Jewish tint to it. "It's a real pain in the tuckus! Oy!" 

"Where's Amanda?" Warren asked. "Usually she's the one winning all the games."

"Oh didn't you hear?" Ororo asked. "Benny convinced them to shoot a few scenes over at Amanda's house. Grossman's over there now shooting some scenes and Amanda has a cameo. Margali's thrilled but I think Mr. Sefton isn't." 

"Then why isn't Kurt over at his girlfriend's?" Logan asked. 

"We kind of made a deal with Mr. Sefton," Hank said. "Kurt and the rest of us would stay away for the day if Mr. Sefton would come out from under the couch and not drink any more bourbon." 

"Ah," Xavier nodded. "That would explain it. This is getting bizarre." 

"That's nothing," John pointed. "Take a look at that!" 

At a table Lance, Scott and Peter were eating and reading Variety. "How could the WB cancel that series?" Scott asked as they read. "It was one of their highest rated Saturday morning shows! It makes no sense!" 

"Who knows what those suits think?" Lance sighed. "Big mistake! Maybe another network will pick 'em up. It's happened before."

"Yeah hey pass the croissants will you?" Peter asked.

"Sure," Lance nodded. "Hey did you ever get that Danger Room practice done?"

"Yeah but it took over twenty times until they got it right," Scott said. "I had it filmed so it could be put in the movie as well."

"That way we can count it as work," Peter said. "Got two extra hours of overtime. Hey we'd better get going! Our appointment with Helga and the other girls is in half an hour!" 

"Those three are getting along?" Ororo blinked as they walked away. 

"They've been hanging around each other ever since these people got here!" John said. 

"Okay **now** I'm worried," Logan remarked.

"Well since Kitty and Jean have been in La La Land those three felt left out," Warren said.

"What do you mean?" Xavier asked. 

Over in a corner Jean and Kitty were surrounded by makeup artists and assistants primping them. Mrs. Pryde and Donald were hovering over them and making sure they were pampered. Donald was on the phone. "No we discussed that already! No! Hold on a minute: I NEED TWO DIET SODAS OVER HERE! WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE? MY GIRLS NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!" 

"With a twist of lemon please!" Kitty called out. 

"I'll have that too," Jean said as her hair was being done. 

"Of course sweeties," Donald said. "Anything you want. WHAT KIND OF AN OPERATION ARE WE RUNNING HERE? TIME IS MONEY PEOPLE!" 

Xavier's jaw dropped. "What the…?"

"Jean hired Donald to be her agent too," Ororo sighed. "He's turned into the stage mother from Hell." 

"YEOW! HANDS OFF ME YOU MANIAC!" A shrill scream could be heard across the tent. 

"Speaking of insane parents…Althea! Your father is chasing the actresses again!" Ororo shouted. 

"On it!" Althea shouted. "POP DON'T MAKE ME TURN THE HOSE ON YOU AGAIN! REMEMBER WHAT THAT JUDGE SAID ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED RESTRAINING ORDERS?" 

"This is a nightmare," Xavier sighed. "What's that commotion over there?"

"Oh my god it's him!" Kitty gasped as Dylan Hunter walked on the set.

"Him?" Logan growled. 

"Oh my god! It's him!" Amara gasped. 

"Just remember what we rehearsed and you'll do fine," Tabitha told Amara. "You'll get that date with him yet!" 

"Here we go," Pietro grinned. "This is gonna be fun." 

**Next: It's not easy trying to get to know some one with 2 jealous boyfriends, a scheming fire princess, an overprotective guardian with adamantium claws as well as a host of other maniacs in the way! Will Kitty succeed? Or will Dylan run away screaming! **


	6. The Mutant and the Movie Star

**The Mutant and the Movie Star**

"So that's the big shot movie star," Lance growled as Kitty met with Dylan. The two of them were surrounded by everyone else, some adoring fans, others adoring agents. 

"Da," Peter growled. "He is not so much."

"No," Lance said. The two boys looked at each other. "Truce?"

"Yes," Peter gave a death glare at Dylan. Then he saw that they were leaving together. "Where are they going?" 

"Let's find out," Lance said with a glint of mischief in his eye. 

"Where are they going?" Logan asked Xavier about Kitty and Dylan. 

"They said they wanted to rehearse a scene and get to know each other better," Xavier said. "I thought it would be nice if she gave him an unofficial tour of the Institute."

"Oh," Logan remarked and he began to walk away.

"Logan where are you going?" Xavier raised an eyebrow. 

"Just gonna take a walk," Logan growled. 

"Well you might want to join Lance and Peter," Xavier said wryly. "I saw the two of them take off after her. And I don't need to read their minds to know what they're thinking. Just make sure those two don't cause any trouble."

"No problem," Logan walked away and grinned to himself. "It would be such a shame if those two ruined Kitty's alone time." 

Meanwhile Kitty was showing Dylan some of the downstairs rooms. "And this is where we have some of our classes," She said. "The upstairs rooms are mostly living quarters." 

"Wow it looks just like one of my old prep school classrooms," Dylan looked around. "It's amazing. I can't believe I'm here talking to a real live X-Man. Well X-Girl, uh X-Woman…You know what I mean."

"X-Man is fine," Kitty remarked. "You're impressed with me? But you're a huge movie star and everything! You're Dylan Hunter!"

"Yeah but you guys saved the world!" Dylan said. "I saw it on TV! I can only pretend to do that stuff in films. You do this stuff in real life. It's amazing!"

"Well, thanks," Kitty blushed. "We don't exactly get a lot of complements for that." 

"Well you should," Dylan said as he held her hand. 

"Oh…" Kitty blushed even harder. She felt very warm. 

She cooled off quickly when she and Dylan got pelted with snowballs. "Think fast Kitty!" Bobby laughed as he ran off. 

"Very funny Bobby!" Kitty shouted after him. "I am so sorry!"

"No biggie. I used to do that all the time. Of course usually I had to wait until the winter to do it. Does this happen a lot?" Dylan asked.

"Well kinda," Kitty shrugged. "We do sort of play a lot of pranks on each other. Come on, I'll show you the greenhouse."

"You have a greenhouse?" Dylan asked as they went inside.

"Well it's kind of like a conservatory/classroom/greenhouse," Kitty explained as they entered. "Ororo likes a lot of plants. She really loves gardening and we were using this room as a classroom anyway. Plus it has these great glass walls where we can see outside." 

The room was filled with plants and in the middle there were a freestanding blackboard and several tables. On one side of the room were several shelves filled with books. It looked like someone had put a classroom in the middle of a jungle. "Wow this is cool! I gotta admit this is all kind of weird for me," Dylan said. "I mean I had no clue about mutant life or how you guys cope and stuff." 

"Hey we're pretty much like any other group of kids at school here," Kitty told him. "We just have a few more explosions." 

"Do I really want to know?" Dylan asked. 

"Not really," Kitty admitted. 

Outside the walls they were unaware there were two others watching them through the glass. "I can't believe this!" Amara said. "Kitty always gets the hottest looking guys! This is so not fair!" 

"Don't worry girlfriend," Tabitha said. "We'll get you your guy. No problem." 

"I just wish I could hear what they're saying!" Amara groaned. 

Dylan and Kitty were talking. "But not all mutants hate humans right? So what's the problem?" Dylan asked her. 

"I guess cause we're all a little afraid of them," Kitty shrugged.

"You're afraid of us?" Dylan was surprised. "But you have the powers."

"Doesn't mean we don't get scared," Kitty said. "Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. No matter how hard we try, things just never seem to get better." 

"Yeah but you're doing something with your life," Dylan told her. "All I've ever done is star if fifteen movies, win two Golden Globes, win five People's Choice awards, and got nominated for an Oscar. Okay I made a few million dollars too but…" 

"Oh well aren't you modest."

"Well I have to try and impress the girl who saved the world somehow. Especially if we're going on a date tomorrow." 

"Are you really sure you want to do this? I mean go out with me?" Kitty asked. "I mean once people see us together they're going to talk."

"Oh yeah and as a celebrity I have no experience with that," Dylan smirked. "Kitty for me it's nothing new. Just another day at the office as far as I'm concerned."   
"Yeah well remember that pop star Dazzler?" Kitty sighed. "The day after people found out she was a mutant everybody turned against her! Now she's like totally dropped out of sight."

"And you're afraid that will happen to me?" Dylan said. "Maybe that's not so bad." 

"You don't mean that," Kitty took his arm.

"Well sometimes I do," Dylan said. "It's really frustrating. It's like you never have any privacy anymore."

"Yeah everybody's watching you like a hawk," Kitty grumbled. "You can't just blend in anymore. It's like you're out there and you can't hide and every little thing you do no matter how innocent people will talk. And worst of all people always seem to think the worst of you and enjoy it!" 

"Well I guess you do know something about what it's like to be a celebrity," Dylan said.

"More like an infamous outlaw," Kitty scoffed. 

"Well you don't look that dangerous," Dylan grinned.

"Looks can be deceiving," Kitty snickered. 

"What are they saying?" Amara asked Tabitha fuming as she watched them talk and laugh together. 

"I don't know! I can't read lips!" Tabitha hissed back.

"You don't have to read lips in order to guess what they're talking about!" Peter grumbled as he and Lance appeared out of the bushes and watched as well. 

"What are you two doing here?" Tabitha and Lance asked each other at the same time.

"Spying on them so I can get Dylan," Amara explained.

"Spying on them so **we** can **get** Dylan," Peter pounded his fist into his open palm. "That is get him as far away from Kitty as possible!" 

"And I'm here to keep an eye on you," Logan said as he appeared next to them. 

"Uh oh," Lance gulped. "Busted!"

"Actually I'm with you kids on this," Logan told them. "I'm just here to make sure you don't screw this up!" 

"Well we've gotta do something!" Amara pointed as it looked like Dylan was about to kiss Kitty. 

"You bet we will!" Lance growled.

"I hate contacts," Dylan grumbled. "Are you sure it's in there?"

"Yeah it looks like it's…" Kitty began. That was when the glass wall exploded. "WHAT THE…?"

Lance had caused the glass to break and was about to run through the hole when Peter accidentally knocked into him and they fell over. "Get off me!" Lance shouted.

"You get out of my way!" Peter snapped.

"I knew both of you would louse it up!" Logan groaned.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kitty yelled.

"What do you think Half Pint?" Logan grunted. "Gardening?" 

"Hi there!" Amara walked up to Dylan. "I'm Amara Aquilla. I'm a princess from the land of Nova Roma."

"She is," Tabitha said. "She's not some crazy fan saying it." 

"I can't believe you people!" Kitty shouted. "And you two…"

"Don't start in on us Kitty!" Lance snapped.

"Yes," Peter snapped. "Don't you care about our relationship?"

"Relationship?" Dylan blinked.

"Oh yeah she's been dating those two for some time now," Amara waved. "Now let's talk about us." 

"Mr. Hunter we heard a crash," A young seventeen year old boy wearing jeans, flannel and a baseball cap ran in with a bunch of extras. "Are you all right?"

"Kitty! Kitty! Are you all right Darling?" Donald ran in. "Call 911! Call 911!" 

"I'm fine Donald," Kitty groaned. "But you might call that ambulance anyway because I know a few people who are gonna need it!" She glared at the others. 

"You know you really should try shooting a film at Nova Roma sometime," Amara batted her eyes at a confused Dylan. "Oh wait we don't have much technology there. Better yet, make it a romantic getaway!"

"Uh…" Dylan blinked. 

"Are you all right?" The kid kept asking. "And actually she does have a good point about Nova Roma. That would be a nice location for a movie." 

"Bernie I'm fine!" Dylan groaned. 

"You know about Nova Roma?" Amara asked. "Most people have never heard of it."

"Well not surprising since it's so isolated," Bernie said. "But I have studied it in one of my Anthropology courses. It's quite fascinating." 

"You two are so possessive!" Kitty shouted at Lance and Peter. "Maybe this is a good time to give each other some space for a while!" 

"But Kitty…" Peter whined.

"We need some water here!" Donald shouted as more assistants ran in. "Preferably with a twist of lemon!" 

"No what I need is some privacy!" Kitty shouted. 

"Hey this is a great place for a scene," Gary walked in. "Let's write it in the script!" 

"Watch where you are all walking!" Ororo shouted as she and the other X-Men entered. "You're knocking over my plants!"

"Kitty did you think we were just gonna leave you alone with him where he could do anything to you?" Lance shouted.

"Dylan and I weren't doing anything!" Kitty shouted at Lance and Peter.

"Not for lack of trying!" Tabitha shouted. "Right Amara? Amara?" 

Amara was now talking to Bernie and was now ignoring Dylan. "I've always wanted to go there," Bernie said. "Sociologically Nova Roma is way more advanced than many countries."

"How does a gopher know so much about Nova Roma?" Amara asked. 

"Actually I'm an assistant director," He blushed. "My uncle's Gary Grossman and…well you know."

"Actually I do know something about running a family businesses," Amara grinned. "I'm part of the royal family." 

"Watch where you're walking!" Ororo shouted as someone knocked over one of her plants.

"Hey how come all you guys are in here?" Todd and the rest of the Misfits walked in. "The movie's out there!"

"Not anymore! Send in the lights!" Gary shouted as people with equipment walked in. 

"How many more people are gonna be in here?" Logan was uncomfortable with crowds in normal circumstances. 

"How do I end up in situations like this?" Xavier groaned as he saw the chaos. 

**Next: The situation gets even crazier! If that's possible! **


	7. As if Things Weren't Complicated Enough

**As if Things Weren't Complicated Enough**

Somewhere in a deserted warehouse there were a loyal group of followers awaiting instruction. "Listen to me my agents of Cobra," Cobra Commander hissed on the monitor. "I want you to kidnap Dylan Hunter. The ransom we will get from him will fill our coffers immensely. Do not fail me." 

"Yes Cobra Commander," The Cobra head agent nodded. "We will do as you command." 

************************************************************************

Somewhere in Washington D.C.:

"Senator Kelly you have a dinner appointment tomorrow with Senator Helmsley," Senator Kelly's secretary informed him. "He's made reservations at New York's finest restaurant L'ane Riche for seven."

"That will be fine," Kelly nodded. "A nice quiet dinner is just what I need after a hard week." 

************************************************************************

"Okay Dylan I've set up your date for tomorrow," Mac told him. "I still think you're making a big mistake!"

"Just tell me where I'm taking her Mac," Dylan said.

"I made reservations at this fancy restaurant in New York City," Mac said. "L'ane Riche. Be there by seven. The press sure will!"

************************************************************************

"Loyal followers of the Friends of Humanity!" A tall man wearing jeans and a T-shirt shouted. "We've just learned from one of our contacts that Dylan Hunter, the big movie star has chosen a mutant to date!" He pointed to the picture of Kitty on the viewscreen. "This mutant as a matter of fact, Kitty Pryde, AKA Shadowcat. One of Xavier's trained devils!" 

"NO!" One woman shouted.

"Say it's not true!" Another screamed.

"It is true!" The FOH troop leader told them. 

"Well it's obvious that the mutie witch put some kind of spell on him!" A teen girl stood up. "Stole that date from a human girl!" 

"Wouldn't put it past 'em," Another woman snapped. 

"The fact is Dylan Hunter is a traitor to our species!" The FOH troop leader growled. "And our group has been given orders to make an example of them!" 

************************************************************************

Back at the Institute: 

"I can't believe how you botched that up Lance!" Tabitha groaned as she, Amara, Peter and Lance walked down the halls.

"Hey at least he was doing something to break it up!" Peter snapped. Then he stopped in his tracks. "What did I just say?" 

"I know I can't believe it either," Lance remarked. 

"Looks like we're on our own if we want to snag Dylan Amara," Tabitha sighed. "Because the brainless boys here are no help at all."

"Oh that," Amara said. "Well…I don't really care about that anymore."

"Say what?" Tabitha asked. 

"Did I really just defend Avalanche just now?" Peter said in a dazed voice. 

"Well I saw this really cute assistant director and we started talking," Amara grinned. "And I think he likes me!"

"What about Dylan?" Tabitha asked.

"What about Dylan," Amara waved. "Kitty can have him! This guy's way cuter!" 

"What do you mean you've changed your mind?" Tabitha yelled. "We had this all planned!"

"Yeah well we can still use the plan," Amara said. "Just on a different guy. What? Is Kitty the only one to switch to one guy over another?"

"You have a point," Tabitha shrugged. "Let's roll." 

"Oh brother," Lance groaned. "I think I'm gonna go home and try to wash away the stench of failure." 

"I can't believe things are so bad I am going to Avalanche for support," Peter groaned as they left. He went to his room and found a surprise on his bed. "YOU!"

"Hello brother," Illyana grinned. "I thought I'd surprise you!" 

"Snowflake!" Peter picked her up. "What brings you here from Limbo?"

"Not what, who," S'ym, her personal demon bodyguard chuckled. 

"Quiet you!" Illyana glared at him. "So brother I take it things are interesting around here? What with a big star like Dylan Hunter shooting a movie here…"

"How did you know about that?" Peter asked. 

"Hello? Sorceress? Crystal balls?" S'ym said. "Any of that ring a bell? She checks up on you from time to time. Not to mention watch movies with certain hunky actors in it."

"I did not hear you complaining when I allowed you to watch that Paris Hilton thing," Illyana hissed. 

"I liked The Simple Life," S'ym confessed. 

"Don't worry brother I'll help you!" Illyana told him. 

"Help?" Peter blinked. 

"I will personally ensure that Dylan Hunter no longer has any interest in Kitty," She grinned. "Once he meets me. Then you can pursue her." 

"While she pursues him," S'ym remarked. 

Illyana had a look in her eye. "Soon Dylan will be mine." 

"Oh boy…" Peter groaned. "Here we go…"

**Next: The Date with Destiny! Or should I say Date with Disaster?**


	8. The Date with Destiny Begins

**The Date with Destiny Begins**

"Do I look okay?" Kitty asked. She was wearing her blue party dress and her hair up. 

"You look fine," Rogue told her. "Now try to have a good time."

"Try?" Kitty asked.

"Well you know how things get around here," Rogue waved.

"Yeah but this should be a lot of fun," Kitty went downstairs. "See ya!" 

Dylan was there dressed in a sharp outfit. "Shall we go?" He offered his arm. 

"Sure!" Kitty took it, ignoring some of the looks Lance and Peter gave them. Soon they were in his limo driving towards the city. "Oh this is so awesome!"

"Have you been in a limo before?" Dylan asked.

"Well actually I used to practice my driving in one," Kitty told him. "Until the Professor made me stop. Something about insurance rates and heart attacks. But this is really special." 

"So are you," Dylan smiled. He leaned in for a kiss. Kitty felt her heart flutter as she closed her eyes. 

"RAFF!" Suddenly Lockheed popped in between them just as Dylan was about to kiss her. He kissed Lockheed instead. 

"Bleach!" Dylan gasped. 

"Lockheed!" Kitty grabbed him. "How did you sneak in here! Bad dragon!" 

"You have a dragon for a pet?" Dylan gulped. "A real dragon?" 

"Yeah, didn't I mention that?" Kitty asked.

"No I definitely would have remembered," Dylan said as Lockheed glared at him. "Uh does he breathe fire?"

"Yeah, that's not gonna be a problem is it?" Kitty asked. Lockheed snuffed out some smoke from its nostrils. 

"Uh…" Dylan gulped. 

"Well we can't just leave him in the limo! Especially after the last time I did that! Don't ask. It was a huge mess. Good thing I brought a large purse," Kitty remarked as she stuffed Lockheed inside it. "Now be a good boy, okay?" 

Soon they were at the restaurant. There were paparazzi and reporters everywhere. "Ready?" Dylan asked her. 

"Ready as I'll ever be," She admitted as she stepped out of the limo into the light of flashing cameras. _This is so awesome! _She thought. _I'm on the arm of a gorgeous star! In the spotlight surrounded by cameras, reporters and protesters. PROTESTERS?_

Surrounding them were dozens of people holding anti-mutant signs. "MUTIE LOVER!" One woman screamed.

"What? Human women aren't good enough for you?" Another shouted. 

"TRAITOR!" A man shouted.

"What's your problem?" Dylan shouted as they made their way through the crowd. "We're just going on a date!" 

"Stick with your own kind freak!" One woman threw a tomato at them. 

Kitty instantly phased both her and Dylan through. Then she got them through the crowd. "Oh why do people like that have to ruin everything? Sorry about that."

"No problem. That's a handy trick," Dylan said. "I could have used it myself a couple of times." 

"Greetings sir," A smarmy headwaiter greeted them. "You are Mr. Hunter? I am Vlada. I shall seat you and your…date at our best table. Follow me." They did so to a table in the middle of the restaurant. "Here you are sir, where everyone can see your scandal and shame and gawk at your non human lady friend. Your waiter will be with you shortly. Have a nice evening." He flounced off. 

"Not exactly the evening I had in mind," Dylan winced. 

"Well it's a nice restaurant," Kitty remarked. Both of them noticed that everyone was looking at them. "If you don't count the jerk of a head waiter. Sorry about all the attention."

"I was going to say the same thing to you," Dylan said. 

"Yeah well it's par for the course of being a mutant," Kitty sighed. Then she absently looked down at her purse. "Where's Lockheed? He's not in here! Where could he…?"

"GET THIS THING AWAY FROM ME!" A loud familiar shout could be heard at the next table. Kitty got up and saw Lockheed on the table where Senator Kelly and another important looking man were. Lockheed calmly started to munch the flowers on top of the table.

"Lockheed no!" Kitty grabbed him. 

"YOU!" Kelly shouted. "I should have known!" 

"You know each other?" Dylan asked. 

"Unfortunately. Of course Senator Kelly would be here," Kitty groaned. 

"And of course **you'd **be here!" Senator Kelly snapped. "I can't go anywhere near Bayville without one of you freaks showing up!"

"Hey man she said she was sorry," Dylan said. "Lighten up."

"What are you doing with this monster?" Kelly asked. "And I'm not referring to the four legged purple one!"

"She's not a monster," Dylan got in his face. "I think you should apologize to the lady!"

"Lady! That's a good one! That creature is a menace!" Kelly shouted. "All mutants are!"

"Well I'm human so…" Dylan swung his fist and it connected with Kelly's jaw. 

"Now see here…" The other important looking man started to say something but Dylan bashed him in the face too. 

Soon security was trying to break them up. Lockheed 'helped' by giving a hot foot to several of them. People screamed as the waiters and security men hopped around banging into tables. People bumped into each other trying to either get away or get at Dylan and Kitty and soon they were fighting with each other. One person tried to tackle Kitty but she phased through. She didn't see the person behind her with a chair until it was too late.

Fortunately for her someone else did. Both Lance and Peter in battle costume knocked out Kitty's attacker with one punch. "Are you okay?" Lance asked. 

"She's in the middle of a brawl Avalanche of course not!" Peter snapped. 

"Gee a fistfight breaks out and for once we didn't start it," Althea remarked as she and several Misfits and X-men appeared in uniform. 

"What are you guys all doing here?" Kitty shouted. 

"It's kind of complicated," Wanda said. "Well you see Arcade was kind of scanning radio signals and he intercepted a couple of transmissions and…" 

Several more people ran into the room brandishing shotguns. "DOWN WITH TRAITORS!" One man shouted firing.

"Kitty…?" Dylan gulped. "What's going on?" 

"It's the FOH!" Scott fired his optic beams at them.

"The what?" Dylan ducked for cover. 

"Friends of Humanity," Tabitha explained as she hurled several time bombs. "Scumbags who hate mutants! They found out about your date and want to make an example of you!"

"Yeah but that's not the real problem," Bobby said. "You see we also found out…"

BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

The entire east wall collapsed. Several waiters appeared firing lasers. "COBRAAAAAAAAAA!" They shouted. 

"Well I think you can guess the rest," Wanda remarked as she used her powers to hex several weapons. 

"They want to get lover boy here and ransom him," Lance jerked his thumb at Dylan who had knocked out another person. "We gotta get you two out of here!" 

"Come on Dylan, let's get out of here!" Kitty grabbed his arm and phased through just before a rain of bullets hit them. They passed through harmlessly but it still shook Dylan up considerably. 

"Those were bullets!" Dylan shouted. "Real bullets!" 

"Well duh," Todd said. "That's what real terrorists use."

"Terrorists?" Dylan yelled.

"Cobras," Althea said. "Don't worry. It's nothing we can't handle." She picked up a rifle from one of the Cobras and prepared to fire. "EAT LEAD SNAKE BAIT!" 

"CAPTURE ALL THE MUTANTS YOU CAN AS WELL!" The Cobra soldier in charge shouted. "BUT MOST OF ALL CAPTURE DYLAN HUNTER!" 

"KILL ALL THE MUTANTS AND DYLAN HUNTER!" The FOH leader shouted. 

"Hey pal," The Cobra soldier said. "We got here first!" 

"Step aside creep!" The FOH leader snarled.

"MAKE ME!" The Cobra soldier shouted. Soon it was a three-way battle between the mutants, Cobra and the FOH. 

"So what's the plan?" Kitty calmly asked Scott.

"PLAN? WHAT PLAN?" Dylan was starting to panic. **"These people out there want to kill us!"**

"So what else is new?" Todd shrugged. He brought his Bo staff down on a Cobra trying to sneak up on them.

"Yeah this is pretty much what we go through nearly every week," Lance remarked as he used his powers to shake a few FOH up.

"More like every day," Kitty scoffed as she kicked a Cobra soldier attacking them. 

"EVERY DAY?" Dylan shouted as he saw the fighting and the chaos around them.

"Yeah it's amazing how fast you get used to it," Rogue remarked as she used her powers to knock out a Cobra soldier. "Ugh! But I'll never get used to having other idiot's thoughts in my head! Oh man you do not want to know what this guy does for a good time!" 

"HOW CAN YOU GET USED TO THIS?" Dylan shouted after a beam nearly clobbered him. "IT'S LIKE A WAR ZONE!"

"Duh it is a war zone," Bobby iced the beam in place, protecting Dylan. "Geeze Kitty out of all your boyfriends he's the dumbest one."

"BOYFRIENDS?" Dylan looked at Kitty.

"She didn't tell you about us did she?" Peter scoffed.

"Remember pal we got here first," Lance said. 

"Okay this is not happening…" Dylan backed away. "This is not happening!" 

And a huge black portal promptly swallowed him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" 

"Dylan!" Kitty shouted. 

"We've got bigger problems!" Scott shouted. "The whole place is gonna cave in!" 

"Well you can't blame me this time!" Lance shouted as they escaped. "If someone's optic blasts hadn't knocked out the support beams…" 

"Shut up and run!" Pietro shouted. 

Soon the restaurant was in rubble. "Well this is another lawsuit waiting to happen," Lance looked around. Several Joes were rounding up the Cobras and FOH with help from the police. 

"Where'd Dylan go?" Kitty looked around. "He like, just totally disappeared!" 

Peter sighed. "I'm afraid I know." 


	9. Just When Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

**Just When Things Couldn't Get Any Worse**

Dylan screamed as he found himself spinning around in darkness. Then he collapsed on a hard marble floor. "Where am I?" He looked around. He was inside a chamber of stone and skulls. "This place reminds me of the movie _Last Barbarian of Portland._" 

"I saw that," A voice spoke next to him. "It wasn't half bad."

He looked up and saw a group of huge demons with spears nearby him. "Yeah there weren't as many decapitations as I would have liked but I thought the action was good nonetheless," One of them added. 

"AHHHHHH!" Dylan backed away into something. He stood up and looked at a young blonde girl with a very big sword in front of him. 

"Greetings Dylan," Illyana grinned. "I am Magik, Mistress of Limbo." 

"Limbo?" Dylan gulped.

"A parallel dimension to Earth," She explained. She snapped her fingers.

"Dimension?" Dylan gulped. 

"S'ym! Provide our guest with refreshments," Illyana commanded. "S'ym is my Demon Lieutenant."

"Hey there!" S'ym waved. He offered him a tray with food on it. "Canapé?" 

"DEMON?" Dylan yelped. He looked at the tray. There were some wriggling things on it. Then he passed out. 

"Some action hero," S'ym scoffed. 

"Hey!" Illyana kicked him in the side. "Wake up! I'm addressing you here! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW RUDE IT IS TO PASS OUT WHEN THE RULER OF A DIMENSION IS SPEAKING TO YOU?" 

"Told you he was a sissy," Another demon scoffed.

Then another portal opened. "See guys," Forge remarked as the X-Men and Misfits exited it. "I told you this extra dimensional portal machine would come in handy." 

"What are you doing here?" Illyana asked. 

"I've come to get my date back if you don't mind!" Kitty stomped her foot. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing, he passed out," S'ym said. "Can't imagine why. You want something to eat?"

"Ooh! I'll have that wriggly one there!" Todd grabbed it with his tongue. "Yum! Ooh! Spicy yet sweet!" 

"It's one of my specialties," S'ym told him. "Remind me to give you the recipe."

"Sister I know you meant well but could you please allow us to return him to our dimension?" Peter asked. "Even though I'd love for him to stay here! Ow!" He winced as Kitty elbowed him. 

"Well it does save me the trouble of throwing him into a pit of fire and torment," Illyana said. "I have to confess he's not the guy I thought he was. How can any self respecting girl date a guy who's scared of demons?" 

"Ohhh," Dylan moaned. "Where am I? AAAAHHH! DEMONS!" 

"See what I mean?" Illyana groaned. 

"Don't worry," Kitty grabbed Dylan's arm. "We'll take him off your hands." 

"Sorry about that," Illyana apologized. 

"Well at least you got him out of the firefight," Althea admitted. "It probably saved his life."

"ARE YOU JOKING?" Dylan shouted. They went through the portal and the next thing he knew he was in a strange lab. "NOW WHERE ARE WE?"

"Relax dude, you're in my lab," Forge waved. "Just chill!" 

"I wasn't just hallucinating right? You saw the demons too right?" Dylan started to panic.

"Relax Dylan they're not that bad," Kitty said. "Sometimes." 

"So you brought back the princess here," Logan grunted as he walked in with Hank. "I take it the date ended early?"

"Give him a break! Most people aren't used to inter-dimensional travel like we are!" Kitty remarked. Lockheed huffed in agreement. 

"Yeah I remember how freaked I was during my first real inter-dimensional trip," Kurt remarked. "Of course surrounded by lakes of fire and lava and having huge dinosaurs with pointy teeth trying to eat you alive would freak anyone out. But I got over it."

"Dinosaurs?" Lance remarked. "I thought they were demons?"

"Well whatever they were they had big pointy teeth and were annoying," Bobby said. "They totally wrecked the school gym."

"THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE?" Dylan yelled.

"Dude weren't you paying attention?" Forge looked at him. "This stuff happens all the time." 

"Dragons…Protestors…People with guns," Dylan began to twitch. "Terrorists and now demons and travelling through other dimensions!" 

"Don't forget the two boyfriends Kitty has," Pietro shouted.

"Shut up Pietro!" Kitty snapped. 

"Boyfriends?" Dylan shouted. "That's right, I forgot about that! You actually have two boyfriends?"

"Well…it sounds worse than it actually is," Kitty gulped. 

"PREPARE TO DIE WORM!" Amara could be heard screaming. Then the sound of someone else screaming could be heard.

"What was that?" Dylan yelled. 

"Oh yeah," Hank sighed. "It seems Amara's little assistant director friend wanted her to star in a different kind of movie. Needless to say, she was not amused."

"FRY IN HELL JERK!" Amara shouted as something exploded. 

"We decided that she could punish him much more effectively than any of us," Hank grinned. 

"Is that the one who sets things on fire?" Dylan gulped.

"Yeah that's our Magma," Tabitha grinned. "This I gotta see!" She ran off to help her. 

"So let me get this straight," Dylan was shaking. "Kitty you live in a mansion filled with mutants and have a dragon for a pet. You go out all the time fighting terrorist and travelling to other dimensions. And on top of it all you have two boyfriends…"

"One of which has a sister that rules another dimension full of demons," Pietro grinned.

"And the other is a former criminal," Bobby huffed.

"Don't call me that!" Lance shouted. "I was not a criminal!"

"Lance you stole, destroyed the school, and nearly killed us a few dozen times," Kurt remarked. 

"I was never convicted of any crime," Lance huffed. "Besides Tin Grin over here was a flunky of Magneto's too! Remember? If I'm one technically so is he!"

"I had no choice!" Peter shouted.

"Well what do you think happened to me? You really think I chose Magneto over law school or something?" Lance shouted. 

"In other words both boyfriends are idiots," Wanda remarked. The sound of a time bomb going off slightly shook the room. "Hey Tabby made a big one that time."

"Did we also mention that a lot of explosions happen?" Todd asked.

"I think he figured that out Toad," Scott said. 

"Kitty don't take this the wrong way," Dylan panted. "I like you and everything but…YOUR LIFESTYLE IS NUTS! IT'S TOO WEIRD! AND I'M FROM HOLLYWOOD!" 

"CATASTROPHE!" Jeff ran in screaming. "WHAT DID YOU DO DYLAN?" 

"Me?" Dylan gasped. "I didn't…"

"You punched out Senator Kelly and Senator Helmsley didn't you?" Jeff snapped. 

"So that's who the other guy was," Kitty blinked.

"Well yeah but…" Dylan began.

"Well normally the public wouldn't mind a simple punch but you had to get into a brawl in a public restaurant in front of thousands of cameras didn't you?" Jeff shouted. "Not to mention Helmsley just happens to be one of the closest friends of the head of the studio! They went to school together. And what do you think happened when Helmsley called his good buddy? Take a guess!" 

"Uh…he asked him what's new?" Bobby replied nervously.

"HE TORE UP YOUR CONTRACT RIGHT ON THE SPOT!" Jeff shouted. "THAT MEANS YOU'RE FIRED! FINISHED! KICKED OUT! UNEMPLOYED!" 

"So I'll just go to another studio," Dylan blinked.

"Oh yeah that's right," Jeff nodded. "IF ANY OTHER STUDIO IS WILLING TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU! ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL THE LAWSUITS!" 

"LAWSUITS?" Dylan shouted.

"YOU BURNED DOWN A RESTAURANT! OF COURSE THERE ARE GOING TO BE LAWSUITS!" Jeff shouted. "YOU BROUGHT THAT MUTANT INTO THE RESTAURANT! YOU STARTED THE FIGHT! THAT…LIZARD THINGY SET A BUNCH OF FIRES AND SO EVERYBODY IS BLAMING YOU!" 

"That's crazy!" Kitty shouted. "It was Cobra and the FOH who started to shoot everybody." 

"They're claiming it was self defense!" Jeff told her. "From the mutant menace!" 

"This is insane…" Dylan stammered.

"I warned you!" Jeff shouted. "I warned you that no good would come from associating with these freaks! But did you listen? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Watch it bub," Logan shot out his claws at Jeff.

"Oh go ahead and skewer me!" Jeff snapped. "Chop me into tiny bits! You'd be doing me a favor!" 

"YOU!" Gary stormed in. "YOU'VE RUINED MY CAREER!" He attacked Dylan. They were punching each other and rolling around on the floor. 

"Hey! Hey! Break it up!" Logan shouted as they pried the two apart. 

"I just got a call from the studio!" Gary shouted. "I've been replaced! They're taking my stuff out of my office as we speak!"

"Well don't blame him," Jeff got in Gary's face. "You're the genius who had to make a picture here!"

"Well **you're** the one who had to have him go on a date with a mutant!" Gary shouted.

"I DID'T MAKE HIM DO IT! I WANTED HIM TO PICK SOMEONE ELSE! HE PICKED HER! NOT ME!" Jeff pointed at Dylan. "Wait a minute. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU ALWAYS WERE THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" He jumped on Dylan. 

"DON'T HIT HIM! LET ME DO IT!" Gary attacked Dylan as well. 

"Okay this is way out of hand," Hank sighed as he pried Gary and Jeff off Dylan. 

"I believe the date is over," Logan told Dylan. "Let me show you the door!" He started to drag him away. 

"Logan!" Kitty ran after them along with the rest of the gang.

"Hey guys there are some cops at the door," Jamie ran up to them. "They want Dylan!"

"They can have him!" Logan dragged him to the policemen waiting in the hallway. "**Is **this what you want?"

"Yup," One of the cops slapped the handcuffs on him. "Dylan Hunter you are charged with two counts of assaulting a senator, ten counts of assault and battery, starting a riot, attempted arson, leaving the scene of a crime and one health code violation of bringing a lizard to a public restaurant."

"BUT THAT WAS HER!" Dylan screamed as he was led away. "SHE DID THAT! HELP ME!" 

"Oh help yourself!" Gary shouted. "I've got a career to salvage!" 

"Uh you're not going to arrest any of us are ya?" Todd gulped.

"No General Hawk explained that you were there for some kind of terrorist stake out," The Officer said. "Frankly the only reason you guys aren't getting sued is that people think they can make more money off of him." 

"And it's true he's very wealthy," Lance grinned. 

"But not for long," Peter grinned. He waved to Dylan. "Bye Bye Big Shot!" 

"Bye Bye!" Lance waved with him.

"And bye bye to mutant/human relations," Hank moaned. 


	10. I've Seen Better Movies at Blockbuster

**I've Seen Better Movies At Blockbuster**

"I told you this was a mistake Charles," Logan commented as the police drove Dylan away. 

"Well another night, another disaster," Rogue commented as she watched a bickering Gary and Jeff fight on the lawn. They punched each other out. "Better tell that ambulance coming that it's gonna have two other patients!"

"Ambulance?" Xavier asked. Then he heard a scream above. "Oh yes, I'd forgotten about Amara."

"Lance, Peter…" Kitty turned to the two. "I'm really sorry about all this. I've really been a jerk about all this. Can you forgive me?" 

"Oh yeah **now** you come back to us!" Lance snapped. 

"How convenient!" Peter snapped. 

"Yeah for her!" Lance said.

"Guys!" Kitty pleaded. 

"You know Kitty you were right," Peter said. "Maybe we should all give you some space!" 

"Great idea! You wanna get a burger?" Lance asked Peter.

"Why not?" Peter shrugged and walked away with him. 

"GUYS!" Kitty ran after them. 

"Well I hope you people are happy!" Mac screamed as he ran up to them. "You've just ruined one of the best kids I ever managed! YOU! YOU…AAAAGGGH! MY HEART!" He fell to the ground and started to flounder around. 

"Heart attack?" Scott asked as Hank bent over Mac and examined him.

"Actually it looks more like an anxiety attack," Hank informed him. 

"Well this has been a fun night," Scott grumbled.

"Something tells me our careers as movie stars are over," Kurt sighed. "Well all's well that ends well."

"For who?" Rogue asked.

"Hey we didn't end up in jail and we're not getting sued," Logan said. "That's good enough for me." 

"I just wish more of our events didn't end with someone needing a trip to the hospital," Hank sighed as the ambulance pulled up.

************************************************************************

Three weeks later:

"Hey Kitty! You got something in the mail," Bobby called out as he held up a small package. Several X-men were in the kitchen. 

"What is this?" Kitty opened this. "It's a videotape. Hey it's a copy of Dylan's movie!"

"You mean his **last **movie," Scott told her. "Is he still in that Tibetan Monastery?"

"Yeah he's just taken his vow of silence for the next forty years," Kitty read the note that was also in the package. "This is one of the few copies of the movie."

"They made it that fast?" Jean asked.

"Well a lot of it they had shot before and they just edited parts of it to make it look like everything was done here at the mansion," Kitty said. "Oh no…"

"What?" Scott asked. "What's wrong?"

"The studio's not gonna release the film," Kitty groaned. "They claim it's too controversial and pro-mutant! All the other copies were either burned or in a vault somewhere." 

"You mean after all that we didn't get anything from it?" Rogue grumbled.

"Well we got the tape," Kurt said. "Might as well watch it."

"You have a point," Bobby said. "Let's call the Misfits and make an afternoon out of it." 

Soon all the Misfits and X-Men were in the auditorium. "All right!" Todd crowed. "Movie Time!" 

"Yeah even though no one else will see it, we can enjoy it," Kitty said. "Right guys?"

"Did someone say something?" Lance remarked casually. "I didn't hear anything, did you Pete?"

"No I did not hear a thing my friend," Peter whistled. "Not a thing." 

"Guys it's been over three weeks! How long are you two going to stay mad at me?" Kitty asked.

"Pretty long," Peter said. 

"We're still not letting you off the hook for how you treated us," Lance told her.

"Yes talk to the elbow," Peter told her.

"The hand," Lance said to him.

"Well talk to that too," He said. 

"Shhh!" Jean shushed. "It's starting!" 

However as they actually started to watch the film the opinions started to fly. "I don't believe this…" Tabitha's jaw dropped. 

"They named this movie _Mutant Beer Bash_?" Jean gasped. "How could they do that?" 

"You were right Rogue," Scott groaned. "It is just a frat movie with mutants!" 

"I told you!" Rogue snapped. "And worse, it's us on screen!" 

"He's right," Kurt pointed. "Take a look!" 

On screen Dylan and several actors were in a classroom partying. "Hey man! Why don't we rock this place!" Dylan shouted.

"Oh god he had to steal that from me didn't he?" Lance groaned. 

"That's not all he stole!" Peter pointed as the special effects made Dylan's character morph into a metal skinned giant like Peter. "I'm gonna sue him!"

"He doesn't have any money left!" Lance told him. "Remember the trial?"

"Yeah that happened pretty fast," Peter remarked. "He's lucky he didn't end up in jail."

"Well I did get a good price for his Oscar on Ebay," Arcade said. "I have it in my room. It really looks good on my computer." 

"Yeah well nothing makes this garbage good!" Logan groaned as they watched the film. 

"My god this film makes me look stiff and wooden," Xavier moaned.

"Imagine that," John remarked. 

"I'm best friends with…wait is that supposed to be Pyro?" Bobby shouted. "That is so unrealistic! On so many levels!"

"Well maybe we'll get lucky and he'll burn this film!" Amara growled. 

"I don't believe this!" Jean shouted. "My character is leading on both Scott's character and Logan's character! How realistic is that? NOT ONE WORD QUICKSILVER!" 

"What are you complaining about? All my character's done is phase through stuff and run!" Kitty shouted. 

"Well at least we didn't have to hear her speak," Pietro said. 

"Ha, ha!" Kitty remarked. "Well at least I'm not doing **that** either!" She pointed to the screen. 

"I'm kissing….BOBBY?" Rogue screamed. "THAT IS JUST SICK!" 

"You are one dead ice cube," Remy growled at Bobby. 

"THAT WAS NOT MY IDEA!" Bobby shouted. "AND NEITHER IS THAT!"

"What is this film rated anyway?" Jean gasped. 

"They told us PG 13 but that is definitely R rated!" Scott shouted. 

"Technically no," Hank said. "I had a few cinema classes and that shot is considered safe within the PG 13 range." Then he watched the film for a few seconds more. "Okay **that's** definitely R rated." 

"Now we're getting somewhere," Jamie said.

"Jamie go to your room!" Kitty said quickly.

"Hey! You can't send me to my room!" Jamie said.

"Yeah but I can!" Logan shouted. "Scoot!" 

"But that's me on the screen!" Jamie pointed out. "Only my character's a lot older!" 

"A lot older is right!" Kitty gasped.

"And bigger," Pietro quipped. "In all senses of the…"

"FAST FORWARD NOW!" Logan shouted. "NEXT SCENE! NO THIS IS EVEN WORSE!" 

"Okay now we're both hugging and crying each other because Jean dumped us for…THE TOAD?" Scott shouted. "That is sick on so many levels!" 

"Oh god why couldn't they have just killed my character instead?" Jean sunk into her seat. 

"Yeah then everyone would have been happy," Pietro quipped. "Hey!" Jean threw her popcorn at him. 

"Ugh! Just watching it makes me want to wash out my tongue with soap!" Todd shouted. "I feel so violated!" 

"You feel violated? I'm not even there!" Althea said. "Like I don't really exist or something!" 

"Trust us you were lucky!" Kurt moaned. "I don't even know where my character got all those tattoos! If my parents back home saw this I'd be grounded for life!" 

"Just consider yourself lucky Amanda won't see it," Sam said. "Or what those folks on the screen are doing in Mr. Sefton's living room." 

"And they thought I trashed it," Todd snickered. "Look what your boyfriend Dylan is doing Kitty!" 

"I can't believe I went on a date with that guy!" Kitty groaned. 

"**YOU **CAN'T BELIEVE IT?" Both Lance and Peter shouted at her. 

"He was not good enough for my sister I tell you that!" Peter added. 

"This is without a doubt the crappiest movie I've ever seen!" Ray snapped. "And I saw a back to back screening of _Gigli _and _Glitter_!" 

"I thought those movies in the seventies were cheesy!" Forge groaned. "You know those old blacksplotation movies? They look like sensitive documentaries compared to this! I mean this thing shows mutants to be nothing more than violent, mentally challenged, sex-obsessed lunatics with an obsession for spandex!" 

"You mean we're not?" Pietro asked.

"News to me," Xi remarked. "But apparently this movie says we can't go anywhere without starting fights with each other."

"Yeah and it ends with a huge keg party out on the lawn while several of the students are setting the building on fire!" John shouted. "Which actually is kind of accurate…" 

"THIS IS THEIR IDEA OF PRO MUTANT?" Hank shouted. 

"Maybe it's just as well this movie was never released," Xavier sighed. 

"Guys we seriously need to get some new agents," Scott told them. 


End file.
